July 30 to Aug 3

I really do hate the voices in my head.

The leftovers from arguments and heated discussions and emotionally charged talks with people in my life. Echoes in the grey matter. Things I didn't say or did say.

They roar back at me when I'm not in some sort of surreal situation at work or home.

Like now.

Tuesday was rugby and I went, regardless of the pain. I'm finding that the inserts in my cleats are helping, as is Advil. I'm still avoiding the daylights out of a number of people after training, so at least that is helping me cut out the empty calories after training. I miss chatting with some of the guys, though.

Wednesday was a rest day, as my legs were sore from training. It was also date night. Thursday was a hike day - it was something I've been planning for a while. I had everything I needed, and it was a bit overkill. It was a 5k hike on some not really rugged terrain, but mostly a path in the woods. Hiking boots were a bit much - but it would have been nice to have a pair of gloves. I'll be doing this hike again, with some improvements, man. I liked it but was also glad of the Advil this day, too. Thursday was also a training night and I did a fair amount of sprinting and then running away after training to avoid people.

Friday was a day and a half - two walks and two sessions in the pool. One session for me, the second for my family. Both were helpful for the knees and hips, though.

On Sunday, after a short walk, I saw this article. It was kind of depressing for me - players younger than I am calling themselves dead. I mean, I know that I gave up my only advantage a few years ago ... I have plans to work exhaustively on my fitness until that sole advantage is regained this next season.

I mean, cardio is my only friend, really.

Which leads me back to my first point - a lot of time training without headphones means I'm giving myself a lot of time to think and have my brain bring back things for my conscious mind to fret and consider. I'm already almost hard of hearing, so headphones blasting AC/DC to keep thinking things out of my brain is a no-go. The hike was interesting, as I could not stop swearing at the people in my head. It must have looked like I was swearing at the trees - which is probably a better thing to do than swearing at people. Probably better for my karma. But I hate that my brain works this way.